It’s been one of those days where I don’t feel like I quite measure up. It’s not that there’s pressure from anyone else – more like measuring up to my own expectations.
Especially when it comes to being a mom.
Have you been there?
My kids have complained and argued and pitched fits and gotten on my everlasting nerves the past few days. We’ve been with them non-stop and it’s been pretty hectic with long hours and not enough sleep. In these moments I honestly don’t enjoy motherhood. I don’t embrace my calling – rather I explode and have reactions I wish never happened.
Then I think to myself, “I wish I enjoyed being with my kids more.”
And guilt starts to creep in for even thinking such a thing. Who even thinks that??? Me. More often than I’d like to admit.
Other moms seem to gush about motherhood being the best thing ever and how their kids are their world.
My kids are my world, too. I just want to hide from them at times and pretend to be on another planet for a few hours.
I don’t know how to handle it all. There, I said it.
As I drove to church on this #slowitdownSunday for the second week in a row, exhausted with a child that throws a Sunday-morning-before-church-tantrum, I felt inadequate and burnt out.
These words are all I know and my prayer is for God to change me, not them.
You can have it all, Lord.
Every part of my world.
Take this life and breathe on
this heart that is now Yours.
There is no greater call
Than giving You my all
I will lay down my life
Take my kids. Take my heart. Take my failures.
Give me peace. Give me strength. Give me a fresh perspective – all from You.
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