“Maybe I should stop writing.”
Those are the exact words I said to Brian earlier this week.
Writing can be lonely and especially writing in the summer time. People are off playing outside more and not so attached to their phones or computers. Don’t get me wrong – this is a good thing!
I get it. Readers aren’t sitting at home waiting for the next blog post to arrive, they are busy living their lives.
Along those same lines, it’s harder to discipline myself to write early so I can be the one out playing with my own family and enjoying the later nights that summer brings.
I’ve been writing almost everyday day here in this space for almost 3 years (972 posts currently, but who’s counting??).
That’s. A. Lot. Of. Writing. Y’all.
Sometimes I feel there aren’t any words left to say, they’ve all been said before. There are no more makeovers to do (who am I kidding…there will ALWAYS be makeovers left to do in my life, duh!).
Coming to my little keyboard everyday takes energy, effort and lots of caffeine, ha! It’s also extremely satisfying and part of what I feel God has called me to do in this season.
That doesn’t mean I don’t ever want to quit. Because I do. Just being real.
And then God drops something in my lap that lets me know He’s listening to my doubts and that this whole writing thing is not in vain.
I read a book this week called Finding Spiritual Whitespace by Bonnie Gray.
First of all, this book was nothing like I expected. And second of all, you should read it.
This isn’t a book about writing, but a story about how Bonnie came to find true spiritual whitespace in her own life.
Writing is part of her story as a blogger and at one point she said this on page 117 –
“I just won’t write. …Perfect. It’s decided. I’ll quit. It’s not worth it.
What difference would it make if I shut down the blog and said goodbye? In the big picture, it won’t really matter whether I ever write a single word again. I’m not published. I had just one radio interview for an article I wrote once. I think I blabbed on too long. It never aired. Writing was good when it brought me joy. Now it’s too hard. Too painful.”
I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped and my mouth was hanging open for all to see as I read those words. What in the world??? I had JUST SAID THOSE SAME THINGS TO BRIAN 2 DAYS AGO!!!!
Yes, sometimes writing is hard. What would it matter if I gave up??
She goes on to explain more about doing those things in life that just seem too hard –
“Is God calling you to something that feels too hard? Are you struggling to understand how to walk the everyday while holding your dreams in one hand and the reality of your circumstances in the other?
Is there something you desire or fear that is so painful you don’t know if you should hold on tighter or let it go entirely?”
What is that thing that is too hard for you right now? It doesn’t have to be writing. Fill in the blank of what you feel like giving up on because maybe it just won’t matter if you do.
I’m here tonight to link arms with you and beg you not to give up. You can do this.
Bonnie Gray didn’t give up either. She discussed her consideration to stop writing with her therapist and this is what he said –
“You can try to stop writing,” Dr. P offers. “But I don’t think you can. When you write, you are at home with Jesus. You in Jesus, Jesus in you.”
Whatever you do that makes you come alive, that feels too hard and makes you want to give up – that could be the one thing that makes you at home with Jesus.
You can try to stop, but I don’t think you can.
Whatever it is you’re facing tonight, know that the vision is still to come. It will surely take place. A friend reminded me of my favorite verse this week and it was perfect timing. I hope it encourages you on this #thirstythursday as much as it did me.
Habakkuk 2:3 (NLT)
This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.
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