Tonight on this #slowitdownSunday I’m sitting down at my little keyboard to reflect on 12 years of being married to Brian.
Goodness. Twelve years.
Where does time go???
For the past 3 years I’ve written something in regards to our marriage on our special day. It’s been fun to go back and look at our memories over the years!
This year I wanted to write about something a little different – for our children.
So, this one is for Kayla, Kylie and Brock:
12 things about love – from your mom and dad on our anniversary
#1 Always keep God first. Always.
We haven’t been perfect, but we both strive to do this in every single aspect of our lives. It won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it. If you build a marriage and home on God, He will never fail you. Be on the same page about this with whoever you marry. This is by far the most important thing you can ever learn about love.
#2 Love is not just a feeling. It is a choice.
There will always be days when you don’t feel like loving the other person in marriage. Some days, you’ll have to make a conscious decision to love each other. You won’t be able to base your marriage – or your walk with Christ – on feelings alone. When you take a vow to love, continually make that choice each and every day that you wake up. Trust that God will help you through the good days and the bad.
#3 Marriage is a give-give.
We have a book from our bridal showers where friends and family gave advice on marriage. Here is what your great-grandmother, Patsy Carriker wrote to us in 2003:
#4 Forgive and forgive again.
Forgiveness may not always be easy. But it is necessary. Even when you feel like you can’t. Here is what your great-grandmother, Mildred Haigler wrote:
#5 Be nice.
We aren’t even sure who wrote this – but hey!! Be nice!!!
#6 Marry your best friend.
Love is a whole lot easier if you actually like the person you’re marrying. If you can’t be best friends, your journey won’t be nearly as rewarding. Treat your spouse like your BFF – always! Laugh, share, joke, talk. Marry someone that loves to do what you do. It helps to have the same interests and enjoy life together.
#7 Talk to each other and always be honest.
Communication can make or break a marriage. Don’t ever keep secrets. They never do anyone good. Tell each other the hard things – it will be easier to get through those times together instead of facing them alone. When you stop talking, you grow apart. Don’t just share the tough things, though – share your dreams, your goals, your passions! Then, help each other get there!!
#8 Spend time together. Alone.
We love love love spending time together. It’s our favorite thing. You’ll probably remember the times when mommy and daddy took off on trips together – this has been one of the best things we ever could have done for our marriage. We will always make it a priority to be together and focus on our marriage. PS – we couldn’t have done this without our amazing family and friends that helped keep you!! So, yes, we’ll keep our grandkids one day so you can go away too 🙂
#9 To Brock – treat your future wife the way that you would treat your mother
Show your wife the respect that you give your mother. For example, never talk bad about your wife in front of others. Never talk down to her. Never make her feel less important. Treat her like a princess and give her more than she always deserves.
#10 To Kayla and Kylie – treat your future husband the way mommy treats daddy
(this one is from Brian, by the way!!!) Your mom treats your dad with respect always. She’s fully supportive and loves him unconditionally. Doing this will give your husband the confidence he needs to be the head of the household, as God intended.
From mommy – I would say find a husband that treats you as well as your father has all of these years. He has been such an example of love in our home. He gives and gives and takes care of all of us – no matter what. He’s never too busy to stop and help. He’s such a servant. Look for that in a husband. It is rare. When you find it, you will know. Even if it takes you a while to figure it out 🙂
#11 Spend time and value your family – you don’t know how long you’ll have them
You come from a family that loves. Always cherish and love your family. Spend as much time as you can with them. It won’t always be easy – especially on the holidays. You’ll be tempted to get stressed and overwhelmed. Don’t let the frantic pace steal your joy. Not everyone has a family to go to. Remember that. You are blessed. Create memories to last a lifetime while you are able.
#12 Strive to make everyday extraordinary and keep doing the little things
Fun Friday. Flowers on the table. Going to the park. Getting ice cream at the Dollar Cone. Riding with Grammy. Picking blackberries at Maw-Maw and Paw-Paw’s on the golf cart. Going to church. Last minute surprise trips to the beach. Going to Christmas tree farms. Being crazy and dancing in the living room. Dressing up with Aunt Joy. Handwritten cards. Date nights. Bible verses taped on the wall. Family movie night. Glow sticks at the beach. K&W. Putt-putt.
Life is oh so short. Make every single moment count. For the rest of your life. Keep doing the little things. Always.
We love you and pray that God sends you someone to make you as happy in marriage as we have been.
Mom and Dad
Here’s a little trip down memory lane for anniversary #12!
On our wedding day:
On our 10th anniversary:
And now, 2015:
Encouragement for the Day:
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