It’s 8:05am on a cloudy and damp Sunday morning. I roll over to see the text messages already showing up on my phone.
6:52am: message received from church drummer that he won’t be able to make it today.
9:12am: message received from choir member that has the stomach bug (so glad she stayed home, really).
Add that to 8 other choir members (out of only 23 or so) that won’t be making it to church for one reason or another.
Sometimes I don’t like being the choir director/worship leader, at all.
I don’t like being the one responsible for it all. It gets frustrating, to say the least. Sometimes I close my eyes during worship because of distractions. Sometimes everything goes wrong and I wonder what in the world am I doing up here??
And other times I think, “It would be so much easier to just show up at church each Sunday and worry about my 4 and no more.” Amen?
But, that isn’t what God has called me to do. And I would probably be miserable sitting in a pew doing nothing. I am what I am.
I would be lying if I told you that I started out our worship music all happy and cheery. I wish that I could tell you that I just put it all out of my mind. But, no.
Thoughts of not being good enough and a fast moving song with no beat whatsoever took over. That’s what one should focus on while leading a congregation in praise, no?
God used this morning to check my spirit and remind me of where I came from.
You see, it wasn’t that long ago that our little church started in a hotel conference room with 13 people and a boom box for worship. A boom box, y’all.
Scenes from that first Sunday at the Country Inn & Suites flooded my mind and I became overwhelmed with gratitude for where we are today.
We’ve been blessed with a REAL church building (a first for our little congregation) – with a beautiful wood ceiling and a stage and a sound booth – it’s the little things, really.
How dare I wallow in my own self pity about a song not sounding right when there are 100 people gathered together to be with Jesus? How dare I.
And God’s voice didn’t end with the worship.
1 Corinthians 15: 9-10
9 For I am one of the least of the apostles, that am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 10 But by the grace of God I am what I am; and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all; yet not I , but the grace of God which was with me.
I’m really doing this verse no justice here on my blog. You had to be there to see how God used this entire sermon to speak on levels that I can’t explain.
I am not worthy.
I am what I am.
His grace that He has given me is not in vain.
I labor abundantly.
But it’s not me; it’s the grace of God inside me.
No, God didn’t call me to lead worship in a mega church.
No, God hasn’t given me a book to write (yet).
No, God has ME exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I refuse to let His work in me be in vain. Amen?
Tonight on this #slowdownSunday, I admit to you that I’m in no way perfect. I admit to you that I have my doubts and frustrations on a daily basis. I admit to you that sometimes I just want to quit. But, then. THEN God somehow shows up exactly in ways that I need Him. He sends friends that encourage me in my writing, he sends sermons that have me in complete tears. He puts me exactly where I need to be at the right moment – with or without a drummer.
And it is all by His grace, part of His plan.
If you happen to find yourself in that same place of doubt, frustration and self pity – just think on these words to one of my favorite songs from church:
He’ll do it again
He’ll do it again
If you’ll just take one look
At where you are now
And where you’ve been
Well hasn’t He always come through for you?
He’s the same now as then
You may not know how
You may not know when
But, He’ll do it again
– He’ll Do it Again, Originally by Shirley Ceasar
Proverb of the Day:
I am teaching you today – yes, you – so you will trust in the LORD. [Proverbs 22:19 NLT]
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