#1wordwednesday / DESPERATE

Today started out hopeful.

I may or may not have attended our team meeting virtually while in my robe connected via audio conference call – before my shower for the day.

Yes, a hopeful day indeed.

After the meeting concluded, I showered and put on a suit. Excited that I could actually fit into a suit, the day was gonna be GREAT! I was headed to a networking luncheon event and I can ROCK some networking, y’all.

I loaded up the youngest kiddo and we headed to daycare. All the way there we rehearsed this conversation:

Me: Kylie, are we gonna have a good day today?
Kylie: Yes
Me: Are we going to hit our friends?
Kylie: No
Me: Are we going to clean up the toys when we’re told to?
Kylie: Yes
Me: Are we going to be nice to Nana and Tara?
Kylie: Yes
Me: Are we going to have to sit in the high chair in time out today?
Kylie: Nope

And then, I did what any good parent would do: I bribed her with an entire bag of M&Ms.

Yes, that should work.
We even sent daddy a video before walking into daycare to reaffirm our plan for the day.

#momoftheyear right here, y’all!

I hurried off to my networking luncheon, had a blast – met up with an old friend and it was packed out. We met new people, exchanged business cards, got motivated by the speaker and left there feeling like we could conquer the world!!

I get into my car, start the engine, phone rings. Oh no. Tara (our daycare provider).

I didn’t even want to answer.

Tara: You have to come get Kylie, now.

The M&Ms didn’t work.

And I proceed to cry all the way to Waxhaw. You see, under this funny, enthusiastic, spontaneous mom shell – I’m facing one of the most challenging seasons of parenting I’ve ever been through. I don’t have answers. I don’t know what to do. I’m lost for words. I’m drained emotionally.

And then thoughts start flooding your mind of not being a good mom.

As we got home and she laid down for a nap, I stumbled on this book through broken tears:

desperate the daily starr

I am desperate. And I’m a mom who needs to breathe.

And tonight God kept showing up. Remember this song?

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me

And I I’m desperate for you
And I I’m I’m lost without you

– Breathe by Michael W. Smith

#1wordwednesday = desperate

God, I need you now. I need You to hold me. I need You to shelter me under the shadow of Your wings. I need to make it one day at a time. I’m desperate for You. Show up in our family, in our decisions and in our children. Oh, Lord – please show up in our children πŸ™‚

And if you have any helpful experience for how you ventured through life with a strong willed child, please please send some advice our way. Mom – I know you’ll be first in line.

Proverb of the Day:
The blameless will be rescued from harm, but the crooked will be suddenly destroyed. [Proverbs 28:18]


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  1. Starr, my heart breaks for you. Your children are beautiful, inside and out, just like you. I wish I had answers, your dad says I’m the soft one. For now, I’m praying for you. This too shall pass. Perhaps God will give us answers soon! I love you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love you, mom. God sends encouragement when we need it most and He’s surrounded us with the most amazing friends and family. Thank you for all that you do and for your prayers. They mean more than you will ever know. And thank you for ambrosia salad. It gets me through πŸ˜‰


  2. All I can tell you is my strong willed child is now a strong willed adult who is very successful as a father, husband and a manager. He never gives up and is passionate about everything that he does. Have faith is how God will use her free will.


  3. Starr, no worries you are a great mother. This time will pass much quicker then you think. There is no advice that will work for every child. The only really good advice I can give you is pray and seek the Lord. I promise he will tell you what to do. I know this is challenged but you will make it. I know some days you will feel like pulling all you hair out. Believe it I was my mothers strong willed child. I am praying for you. Love A Mommy of Five Karen


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