Every now and then I attempt to be “that mom.” You know, the one who wields a glue gun whilst craftifying something worthy of a show case display at the Hobby Lobby. And the one who joyfully reads aloud to her children without being sneaky and skipping pages. Yes, her.
But it never works out for me.
Some moms are equipped by the hand of God to be “that mom.” They have been formed with the three C gene – Cooking, Crafting, and Cleaning come easily and naturally to them.
Others of us have been delightfully chosen to provide the comic relief necessary to keep this world entertained. And to keep future therapists in business.
(Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst – pgs 70-71)
Tonight, as 30+ people walked out of our home after dinner, I laid down on the couch and cried. I told my husband that I felt like a big fat failure.
I was not “that mom” in any way, shape or form. I didn’t have my act together. I was behind on the food, running short on emotions, and didn’t react well in several situations – including one with someone I love the most – my own mother.
I have loved ones that were only trying to help. Especially my mom. And I snapped.
And it killed me. I wanted everyone to leave. I wasn’t behaving well and it got the best of me. Is this what adults do? Is this what I do? Someone that loves family, loves having people into our home? Surely not.
This comment from someone at dinner stands out in my mind tonight:
Starr, you always have it all together. It is always so perfect when we come over.
No, my friend. No, it is not.
What you may see on the outside may seem perfect, but I can assure you it is not.
I struggle and sometimes my struggles may not be on the surface. But, I assure you they are there.
And in these quiet moments, I have to take inventory of what needs to improve.
Lysa TerKeurst says it so well in her book, Unglued:
When someone else’s actions or statments threaten to pull me into a bad place, I have a choice. I do. It may or may not feel like it. In fact, it may feel like I am a slave to my feelings – but I’m not. Remember, feelings are indicators, not dictators. They can indicate there is a situation I need to deal with, but they shouldn’t dictate how I react. I have a choice.
(Unglued – pg 72)
In the quiet of this Sabbath night, I’m remembering this verse:
1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Lord, I need more of you, especially tonight. I need help in my reactions. Lord, let me reflect You in my actions and words. Remind me each day that I am made in Your image and that I have the power of Jesus Christ living in me. I am an overcomer and I have a choice in how I react. Help me love those around me just as You love me. Let Your love pour through my words and my emotions. Thank you for grace. Amen.
Tonight, I pray that you find a quiet time to reflect and to let Him speak into your heart like only He can.